Entry#8: Our Backpacks

Hello my fierce warriors, I am back again with some fun blogging. Today I want to talk about what's in your backpack, and I do not mean your actual backpack. I am referring to your emotional backpack where you keep all the bad things that have happened to you locked away, and you carry them around with you everyday of your life. I am firm believer that stress/depression can cause a large scale of mental and physical illnesses. Studies have proven that stress can cause illness. I encourage you to dig into your backpack and try to forgive anyone that has caused you harm, forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you. I will share some of the stuff in my backpack with you since I am talking about it: My backpack is full of some misfortunate events, but none the less traumatic ones. My father abandoned my brother and I. He was abusive mentally, physically, and verbally towards my mother and I. My mother was a drug addict, her drug of choice was crack. She was very neglectful. My grandma and Stepdad were also crackheads. My little sister was born severely handicap. I had to take care of her because my mom was too busy getting high. My father sexually assaulted me when I was five years old. My little sister died in her sleep when she was two years old, and I was blamed for her death. My brother and I were then taken from my mother by Child Protective Services, after my mother had us on the run for three days. We were given to my great aunt, Patricia Brazwell, we knew absolutely nothing about her. We learned that we would not be able to live with our mother until we turned eighteen years old, because my aunt had permanent guardianship over us. My mother was labeled in the news as a baby killer and we were bullied in school because of it. I was sexually assaulted again, by a family member who shall not be named. My aunt was physically abusive towards my brother and tried to get him put into foster care, but I saved him by making sure he did not bother her or piss her off. My aunt abandoned us and we were forced to live apart within the family. I was treated like shit because most of the people in my family believed I was the bad seed. Four of my best friends committed suicide, and I found two out the four dead when I went to visit to make sure they were still okay. My mother got my other set of little brother and sister’s taken away twice, and I am now fighting to get them in my custody. With all things considered, my backpack is full of abandonment issues, trust issues, violations, and more, but I have forgiven everyone involved so my life will not be hindered by their abuse. I encourage you guys to dig into your backpacks and try to relieve yourself of some of your pain, even if you only forgive one person that is better than nothing at all. To those who have already emptied your backpack and have forgiven those who hurt, I am so proud of you and I hope life has nothing but good things ahead for you. Well that is all for today guys, sorry if this was too deep, but I just want to help others in any way I can. If anyone ever wants to talk about something emotional, I am always available to talk. Hope Everyone has a great day! Stay Beautiful and Stress Free!!!!!!